I Give You My Heart

It’s funny the things that you believe about life while you’re still growing up. I remember thinking so many ridiculous things when I was little…
such as rollie-pollies had to be the reason why the ground was soft, 
that putting mud on the trees would help them grow, 
and that turning 9 was absolutely the most tragic event that could ever happen in a child’s life (no more single digit birthdays!).  
             
 I also had some outlandish views on what being a “real woman” was. Any man (worth having) would never be interested in a girl that was not educated, beautiful, charming, musical, a gourmet cook, witty, sweet, and all while bilingual… I felt that a woman’s value was based first on her capabilities and abilities…. silly child.

 I had that funny idea of what a marriageable girl was when I was a child. Once I grew up some, I came to see that

A selfish heart loves so that it will be loved in return; a pure love is given without condition or even the expectation of love being reciprocated.

During my teen years, I so focused on purity, especially emotional purity. I wanted to my heart to be as close as possible to being perfectly clean for that one special person on that hypothetical “someday” when I got married. I don’t know if it’s possible to love a person you might not ever meet, or if it’s possible to respect this person so much that you’re willing to knock yourself out just so that he is given what he deserves, but knock myself I did (and do). I agree with Aristotle when he said,” Most people would rather give than get affection.” The motivation for the effort that I put into my heart is not so that my heart is deserving of and will receive attention, it is because I wanted that other heart that is deserving of a top notch heart to receive a top notch heart. This heart would belong to a superman. Superman deserves that. Superman deserves the best.

                While I was thinking about all of this, it hit me like a hammer over the head that I had all of my priorities all wrong. Yes, I had taken all of the focus off of what I should have and what I should get and tried to be totally selfless; yes, that’s true.  However, I had only been seeing the earthly picture that God had given me of BOTH “somedays”!  I had missed the BIG and most important picture. All this time, I had been preparing for a superman that, again, may not ever be meant for me. But, I had neglected to give undivided attention in preparing my SOUL for its first love.  What about being readied for my SOUL’S darling? How can a superman of earth be more important than the God of heaven? How could I be so focused on all of these little earthly details and neglect my savior?

               The issue at this time of life, as in any other time of life, is not just giving God first place, but giving Him the only place. My magnificent God is a jealous God. He doesn’t just want compliance from my heart; He wants all of my heart. He wants the heart, the whole heart, and nothing but the heart. I WILL meet my redeemer one day. The mere possibility of a “someday” with someone on earth absolutely pales in comparison when I look heavenward and see Him standing there. When I see the very One who made an end to my self-inflicted disease of hopeless, perpetual sin, what else matters? What else matters short of the Gospel? My thoughts have been drawn to heaven so much lately… One day, my Prince will claim ME, of all people, as His very own! How exciting and thrilling  is it that, at any given second, your SOUL’s truest love will come and snatch you off of your ivory balcony and take you to the only true paradise?! As exciting as that is, boy, doesn’t it make your heart want to give something back in return?! Doesn’t that just stir something up in you to want to give him a treasure? And, not because you want a treasure in return, but because you just want this lover of your soul to receive a treasure? Preparing your heart so that it can be given whole heartedly to a true Prince, the ONLY TRUE prince, is really all that matters.  Just as I want my heart to be everything that it can be for the possible “someday” on earth, I want my heart to be 10x more shaped and ready for the lover of my soul that will come on that certain “someday”.

 My heart was won, not through material possessions or empty promises, but with my Savior’s death. As important as it is to be ready to give your heart to another person, and as important as it is that your heart be guarded with all diligence, giving all you can give to God is what ultimately and matters above all else.

So, just as preparation for a wedding and marriage takes intentional care and even discipline, how much MORE does the preparation does Christ’s return require? Growing up, it is fun to learn to do things that you know you can use in your own home one day. Why do little girls play with dolls? Why do little girls pretend that they really are moms? They love to pretend about that “someday.” Little girls play kitchen because, really, they are just pretending to be like their moms and are expecting that day to come for themselves. How much MORE true is it that we, as Christians (little Christs), should love to prepare for that someday that is 100 times more certain to come than a wedding day?

Prepare for that day NOW by spreading the word about its arrival. Prepare for that day NOW by worshiping God with your heart, soul and mind. Prepare for that day NOW by building a relationship with the Lord. Prepare for that day NOW by talking to the Lord. Prepare for that day NOW by removing any sin or temptation that is interfering with your walk with the Lord. Prepare for that day NOW by fellowshipping and praising God with other believers. Prepare for that day NOW by simply obeying God and loving Him more and more.

Easier said than done, but I am so convinced that heaven’s very population would grow if girls prepared for their Heavenly King as much as they did for their earthly prince. Is it fun to plan our wedding on pinterest? Is it fun to plan out our lives and what kind of a mom we’ll be? Is it fun to babysit(which is just practicing parental strategies on someone else’s kid….)? Is it fun? Oh my, but yes. Is it wrong? Of course it is not! 
But, 

my point is 

that we must, must, must not be distracted from our relationship with the greatest love we will ever have. We must not ever allow ourselves to be so consumed with the love affair in this life that we throw out the love we could have for 

The Lover of our SOUL.