Letters From Grief

A letter to my church after the passing of Mr. Chuck this past summer. 

A portion of this was read at the funeral.

Obviously, you all know about what happened on Wednesday, but the way that God has been using the death of Mr. Chuck Cofty is nothing short of amazing; hard, sure, but amazing. 

I got the call during brunch on Wednesday, and the initial shock of something so unexpected- to someone that has been so close to my family/ at our house for holidays for the last few years/ someone that’s watched me grow up…. 

Wow, I am just sitting here trying to think how to even describe that.

 I don’t think I want to. 

        Wednesday was an unforgettable day for several of us – my friend was bit by a copperhead, I got the call about Mr. Chuck, and 2 of my good friends from the 9 month season ended up pouring out their hearts about some deep concerns and struggles. Wednesday left quite an impression on several of us. I have put off writing this letter because I just didn’t want to. I didn't want to sit down and put into words how hard these past few days have been on myself, yes, but on so very many people.

 I don’t understand why God took such a good, young man. I don’t understand why God would take a father of young kids, a man with a heart of gold, one of the remaining men in this country that is truly faithful to Christ and to the work of His church, a man that is such a close friend of my father. I don’t understand why God would take another strong man from my church in such a sudden, tragic way. I don’t understand why God would let the church suffer another loss in the middle of such a huge time. And, being a frail soul, the worry of “Well, what might TOMORROW bring” has been a battle. 

Who is next? 

Why does it always end up hurting to be close to people? 

I don’t understand you, God, why did you take another one of my dad’s close friends? 

Don’t you know that you took someone that my parents have poured so much of themselves into? 

Don’t you know that he has little guys at home- and big kids- that still need their dad?  

But, I am not God. 

I’m not a scholar, I’m not a prophet, I’m not even all that old or experienced. God doesn’t need my approval to work out His sovereign will. He doesn’t need my permission to do what I may or may not think is best. How do I even know what “good” is? My rebel heart still seeks after so much selfishness and short term satisfactions. 

Who am I to tell God that He was wrong in His timing or in His choosing?

 I have cried more this week than I have in a long, long time; I have cried myself to sleep, cried at every song, and cried at the sight of all the tree work of Mr. Chuck across this campsite. It has been such a challenge to me to hear the legacy that Mr. Chuck left here in such a short period of time. 

He took something as simple as tree work and used it to impact people. 

I remember how all the guys would talk about him like he was some kind of celebrity and how he would talk to them about their personal lives…. Several have mentioned how that he (in his own psychotic, insane way) challenged them to be better men. I will miss this man that was certainly a type of “crazy uncle” in my life. I will miss the yammer back and forth with him during meal times, his off the wall comments during Christmas morning mayhem, and even that quirky feeling of pride that I know “the” Mr. Chuck – myth and legend- here at The Wilds. But I am thankful for his life and his impact on my own. 

His death has put things into perspective for me as we begin this intense round of camp over the next 10 weeks. 

I am thankful that God has used this event to sober my heart, remind me of the unpredictable nature of life, that time must be wisely spent, and that I need to hold my loved ones closer. 

I am so thankful that God has used this week to show me friends that care – truly, truly care when they, themselves are beyond exhausted. I am thankful that in losing someone, God has strengthened my relationships and has used these people to exhibit Christ in my life. I am thankful that God used that event to open the door for, like I said, 2 incredibly deep conversations with friends. Above all, I am thankful that God has given comfort to the family, to my family, to me, and that He has used this time to show me His character and to strengthen my trust and dependence on Him. This week was not what I expected, but it was what He gave, and therefore, it was exactly what I needed. 

Praise Him for it.

~Bethany